Playwrights typically have more drama than the average person both on and off stage, according to people in the know (i.e. me), and they’ve had titanic role models for it throughout the history of their craft. From Shakespeare to Tennessee Williams, the most famous playwrights elevate the drama to an infamous and memorable degree. Here are five outrageous true stories about some of the most celebrated playwrights throughout history:
Tennessee Williams: Catwalk of Shame
Tennessee Williams was a big fan of the sauce, and I’m not referring to wasabi. He proved that beyond a doubt at a New York City bar in 1965. John Lahr’s biography recounts a night of hard drinking that left Williams locked in the bar’s bathroom. Luckily he remembered the show must go on, muttered “Daddy’s gettin’ hisself some more of that sweet tea,” and managed to climb out the window, only to find himself stuck on the fire escape for several hours until some good Samaritans were able to rescue him. After the incident, I assume he bothered his friends for weeks after about his “guy stuck on fire escape” play idea.
Oscar Wilde: Too Hot for the 1890s
Oscar Wilde’s infamous play Salome, about the titular biblical figure demanding the head of John the Baptist as a reward for dancing for King Herod, caused quite a stir when it premiered in 1891 France. The play was quickly banned in England, being seen as an affront to all morals and decency. Their plan worked like gangbusters, causing the play to be produced all over Europe, and cementing Wilde’s reputation as a daring, exciting young playwright whom we still study today. A longstanding rumor has it that during a production in Paris, Wilde himself stepped in when the lead actress became ill and performed the part in drag. No way to prove it, but if any playwright were to do something like that, it would be that caped son of a biscuit.
Eugene O’Neill: The Process
Any contemporary playwright with an unhealthy writing process owes a little bit to Eugene O’Neill, the author of wonderfully batshit plays such as The Hairy Ape. Several biographies have reported on his preference for a nonstop supply of coffee, bananas, and cigarettes while writing, but in 1920 he went for the gold medal in grind. According to legend, the man wrote his play The Emperor Jones in one continuous 18-hour session while locked in a hotel room. Presumably there were banana peels everywhere by the end. Aaron Sorkin was so inspired by this, he wrote the entire first season of The West Wing in a two-week cocaine-and-chocolate binge.
George Bernard Shaw: Player Hater
George Bernard Shaw is known for his wit and charm, but less so for his staunch belief in the roundly rejected junk science of eugenics. Many suspect that is what drove him to make such a bizarre marriage proposal to actress Charlotte Payne-Townshend in 1897. In the book The Letters of Bernard Shaw to Ms. Patrick Campbell, Shaw describes how he asked Payne-Townshend to get married and live together for the rest of their lives, but without the “distractions” or “complications” of physical intimacy. Shaw’s exact motive behind this may never be known, but what is known is that she agreed, and they enjoyed a happy, platonic marriage, so maybe he knew something we don’t. Except for eugenics of course, we know that’s bullshit.
William Shakespeare: Mind Your Head
Shakespeare may have left behind some of the most enduring works of literature, but his braincase is MIA, and probably lost to time. Scholars are certain the Immortal Bard lies dead neath the Church of Holy Trinity in Stratford-upon-Avon, according to the accounts of 18th century vicar John Ward, but his skull cannot be accounted for. There is a sketchy 1794 account about a unidentified group (read: Victorian teens) exhuming the deceased playwright’s skull and “passing it around.” I like to think they were taking turns acting out the gravedigger scene from Hamlet, but we all know they were probably whacking it around with a cricket bat. The skull has never been found, and its whereabouts remain a mystery. Sorry, relatives of Shakespeare!
This is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the audacity of these playwrights. Drama, scandal, unexpected twists just go with the territory. From benders to bizarre writing rituals to problematic views on genetics to good old grave robbing, their pain has been our gain over the years. So the next time you see one, give ’em a hug (they probably need one)!
Adam Harrell 
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