The Perils of Interviewing
I must speak of a mind-melting experience I just had with a completely software-driven job interview. I was asked four questions to which I had to record a video response to, and that was straightforward enough. After that, however, I took part in a very bizarre online “game.” I keep putting “game” in quotations because it was less of a game and more of a straight up quiz. I soon realized that the “game” part was them messing with my head.
Strange Games
“No right or wrong answers!” the app proclaimed–a bizarre thing to say at the start of a purported game–then proceeded to present screens with two images. My task was to choose the image that is “most like me.” Soon I was off on the enviable journey of reducing my personality to a series of 56 binary choices. That’s when things got weird… and hilarious. See what I mean:
Do you have emotions like this soft old man, or are you hardworking enough to get in there and fix a camshaft with your BARE HANDS? We DARE YOU to answer!
Are you helpful and generous or are you an ARTIST? Ouch!
No wrong answers, but would you say you are a career cheater, or do you typically do your own work? Your answer will definitely not impact our hiring decision.
Are you hands-on, but not SO hands-on that you'd use your actual hands to help someone up? You would think a person going around town helping folks off the ground would be the textbook definition of a hands-on person. But no.
Are you more like a businessperson helping a beggar or are you more like grandma paying the electric bill? THE ANSWER SHOULD BE OBVIOUS.
Weird question, but are you a successful Vishnu-like deity, destroyer of worlds, or are you some kind of moral nerd with two stupid arms doing the Pledge of Allegiance? Ditch those gross morals for phones, tablets, laptops, a day planner, and one GIANT CALCULATOR.
Again, no wrong answers, but would you say you are a person who has thoughts and ideas or are you just an empty human void? Are you more like, thinking about exploding lightbulbs or are you just a blank meat sack? Your answer will definitely NOT impact our hiring decision.
Harrowing Entertainment
Full disclaimer, I am no psychology major. I don’t know what this test–sorry, “game” was supposed to reveal about my intentions as a job-seeker, but I sure am glad I had the opportunity to take it. It ended up being a harrowing, entertaining, and ultimately satisfying Lynchian descent into HR automation, and definitely triggered deep introspection. For a game with “no right or wrong answers,” I still feel like I won.
Adam Harrell 
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